Sorry Elon Musk, I refuse to die on Mars

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Sometimes I imagine how a trip to Mars would play out for me...
I save up my money from moonlighting as an Uber Flying Car pilot and plunk down a chilly half-million bucks on my SpaceX ticket to Mars. With Star Trek dreams in my head, I board the shiny Starship Mark X and spend months strolling through the stars.
We touch down in the wide dusty field of Arcadia Plains, joining a dozen other Starships parked with noses toward the heavens like they can't wait to get back to Earth. Our SpaceX minder herds us through the access tunnel into the dome where rows of garden beds with low plants greet us, a subtle reminder of all we have left behind.
"Welcome to Mars!" a cheery man in a SpaceX polo shirt calls out, his voice reaching up to the curved, transparent panels of a dome that shows only blackness above.
I think about my house in Albuquerque where I left the chili plants growing rampant. My cat is now living with my brother. I have been eating SpaceX-issued hot sauce for months.
Oh god, I've made a terrible mistake.
This is how I imagine I'd feel if I moved to Mars. So many, including SpaceX founder Elon Musk, view the red planet as the object of their desire. Musk sees Mars as a necessary destination to ensure humanity's long-term survival. He's already thinking ahead to pizza joints (The Red Pie-net?) and nightclubs. But first SpaceX has to get there, an effort that could be many years away.
He's not alone in his Mars dreams. Over 202,000 people signed up to go there through Mars One, a private group that hoped to establish a colony on the planet. Those folks knew it was a one-way ticket and they still volunteered. Mars One, however, appears to be DPA (dead prior to arrival) due to financial issues.
My own brother told me he would gladly go to Mars knowing he would never return to Earth. "Why?" I asked. "Exploration and finding microbes," he told me. He's a scientist. I couldn't shake a feeling of chest-stabbing sadness at the idea of my brother departing Earth to go live so far away. "But," I blubbered. "You'd be cool with dying on Mars?" "We all die somewhere," he said.
Musk and my brother and those Mars One volunteers can't wait to get to Mars. I can wait, though. I can wait forever.

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